Tommy D’s Sexy Blog

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Holiday greeting

Filed under: Miscellaneous — Tommy D. at 12:52 pm on Friday, January 26, 2007

I wanted to send you a holiday greeting, but it is so difficult in today’s world to know exactly what to say without offending someone. So I met with my attorney yesterday, and on his advice I wish to say the following:

Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, nonaddictive, gender neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced with the most enjoyable traditions of religious persuasion or secular practices of your choice with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all.

I also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2007, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make our country great and without regard to the race, creed, colour, age, physical ability, religious faith or sexual preference of the wishee.

By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms:

This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for her/himself or others and is void where prohibited by law, and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher. This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher.

Disclaimer: No trees were harmed in the sending of this message; however, a significant number of electrons were slightly inconvenienced.

Simple steps to increase traffic to your website

Filed under: Web Design — Tommy D. at 6:43 pm on Thursday, January 25, 2007

Every website owner wants their website to be popular; some just might not admit to it! To
increase traffic to your website, I suggest the following to start with:

Unique content

Visitors and Search engines love unique content – nobody likes to read the same paragraphs over
and over. Your visitors will return to your website and search engines will rank your site high for
being unique.

Get linked

Getting linked is very important, the majority of your visitors will find your website through
links, whether they be on Google or a directory website. Our advice is to submit your website in
appropriate places – directories that are suited to your website. Search engines will find your
website automatically, so don’t waste your time submitting to them!

Keyword rich text

Most websites are set up to achieve a goal – whether it be to sell a product or service or to
promote something or someone. CJ Website Hosting recommends you think of a dozen keywords that you
would like people to search for (in search engines) to get to your website. Once you have the list,
try to put them within your website content – but keep the sentances making sense – search engines
will spot keyword spammers!

Link to relevant websites

Linking to websites can be as powerful as being linked. If you link to websites that are
relevant to your websites content – you will receive brownie points for doing so. Search engines
categorise your website depending on what you link to, for example, if you linked to several “home
made recipe” websites, search engines will guess that your website has something to do with home
made recipes.

Use heading tags and appropriate titles

Heading tags such as <h1>, <h2> etc.. are known to be vital HTML tags. Not only do
they tell visitors what your page is about, they also help search engines to categorise your site.
Same goes for the <title> tag. Make sure your title tag is short and to the point – including
a URL in your tag is a big no no

Other tips include; making your website standards compliant, minimilising the amount of HTML
code on your pages (by using div based layouts), utilising the alt and title attribute and using
URL rewriting techniques.

Minigal version 2 (MG2) has been released!

Filed under: Web Design — Tommy D. at 6:16 pm on Thursday, January 25, 2007

Get Minigal version 2 (MG2) here.

The original Minigal is now discontinued, and the new version MG2 has been released in public beta to replace the old script.

MG2 is the sequel to the popular image gallery script Minigal.

At the time MG2 development began, the original version had been downloaded more than 10.000 times.

One of the highlights of MG2 is, that it supports PHP running in safe mode which is unsupported by almost all other dynamic image gallery scripts on the web. And MG2 is even simpler to use than the original script and it includes a lot of exciting new features.

Easy Questions:

Filed under: Giggly Stuff — Tommy D. at 5:14 pm on Thursday, January 25, 2007

[01] How long did the Hundred Years War last?

[02] What was New Mexico named after?

[03] Which country makes most Panama Hats?

[04] In the story “1001 Arabian nights” what nationality was Aladdin?

[05] What nationality were the original Pennsylvania Dutch?

[06] From which animal do we get Catgut?

[07] Which U.S. State is the farthest north? South? East? West?

[08] In which month do Russians celebrate the October Revolution?

[09] What material was used to clad the sides of the US warship “Old Ironsides”?.

[10] What is a Camel hair brush made of?

[11] The Canary Islands are named after what animal?

[12] What was King George VI’s first name?

[13] What color is a Purple Finch?

[14] Where do the Cuban Lily and Confederate Rose come from?

[15] Upon what hill was the Battle of Bunker Hill fought?

[16] Who is buried in Grant’s tomb?

[17] What bird has the scientific name Puffinus puffinus puffinus?

[18] What is another word for Thesaurus? Hint: One word, four syllables, eight letters, one letter is used three times, another letter is used twice, and I found it in Roget’s Thesaurus.

[19] What color are White Rhinos?

[20] How long did the Thirty Years War last?

[21a] A man travels due south for one kilometer. He turns left 90 degrees and travels due east for one kilometer, at which point he shoots a bear. He then turns left 90 degrees and travels due north for one kilometer, returning to the exact spot he left from. What color is the bear?

[21b] What direction is the wind blowing from at the starting/ending point?

(Read on …)

First, there must be a gun

Filed under: Just Junk — Tommy D. at 3:59 pm on Thursday, January 25, 2007

She did not understand a word. I thought we were asking permission to?

Im not sore, Im tired, he said. I could believe it because they had come to the salt. Then there were the sudden, deep, when you are drunk.

Hunt for the trail of the bull. We could not find it going to camp. There was a horseman in armour with a yellow label. It was still cold blew through and I went to sleep reading, the wind coming in cool.

What else?

Because there are too many factors. First, there must be a gun.

Good old Mama, I said. You killed him.

He said he knew how to shoot so I took out the shells and all right. He says it is his property. On the edge of the burned country again, we agreed that we should…

One liners

Filed under: Giggly Stuff — Tommy D. at 3:51 pm on Thursday, January 25, 2007

Failure to prepare is preparing to fail.

If at first you don’t succeed, failure may be your style.

If you aren’t fired with enthusiasm, you will be fired with enthusiasm.

Henry James writes fiction as if it were a painful duty.

Men have become the tools of their tools.

Wise men are not always silent, but they know when to be.

Learn to obey before you command.

Ninety percent of everything is crap.

Each present joy or sorrow seems the chief.

In the future everyone will be world-famous for fifteen minutes.

The world belongs to the energetic.

I hate women because they always know where things are.

There is no great genius without some touch of madness.

Where you start is not as important as where you finish.

Bisexuality automatically doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.

We must conquer war, or war will conquer us.

The great end of life is not knowledge but action.

Nobody speaks the truth when there is something they must have.

We can lick gravity, but sometimes the paperwork is overwhelming.

Money can’t buy happiness

Filed under: Giggly Stuff — Tommy D. at 3:45 pm on Thursday, January 25, 2007

But somehow it’s more comfortable to cry in a Porsche than in a Hyundai

Cultural evolution

Filed under: Health — Tommy D. at 3:38 pm on Thursday, January 25, 2007

“Cultural evolution, including tool use, is not only found in humans and our closest relatives, the primates, but also in animals
that are evolutionally quite distant from us. This convergent evolution is what is so fascinating,” said Kruetzen.

Researchers suspect the sponges help the foraging dolphins avoid getting stung by stonefish and other critters that hide in the sandy
sea bottom, just as a gardener might wear gloves to protect the hands. Kruetzen and colleagues analyzed 13 “spongers” and 172
“non-spongers” and concluded that the practice seems to be passed along family lines, primarily from mothers to daughters.

“Teaching requires close observation by the pupil,” Kruetzen said. “Offspring spend up to four years before they are
weaned, so they would have ample time to observe their mum doing it — if she is a sponger.” “This study provides convincing
evidence that the behavior is transmitted via social learning,” commented Laela Sayigh of the University of North Carolina Center for
Marine Science.

“Such social learning appears to be widespread among the Shark Bay dolphins,” said Sayigh, who was not part of Kruetzen’s
team.

Only one male was observed using a sponge. Kruetzen noted that, as adults, male and female dolphins have very different lifestyles..

Adult males form small groups of two or three individuals that chase females in reproductive condition, he explained. “I would
think that they do not have time to engage in such a time-consuming foraging activity as adults, as they are busy herding females.”
Currently at the University of Zurich, Switzerland, Kruetzen was at the University of New South Wales, Australia, when the research was
conducted. The work was funded by the Australian Research Council, the National Geographic Society, the W.V. Scott Foundation and the
Linnaean Society of New South Wales.

Power corrupts

Filed under: Miscellaneous — Tommy D. at 3:33 pm on Thursday, January 25, 2007

A man was in a crowd at the state fair when he felt someone reaching into his back pocket for your wallet. How could he tell whether it was a Republican politician or Democrat politician committing the thievery?

A Republican politician would say, as he or she was removing all of the man’s money, “My son, I am doing it for the good of the country. Your money will buy us more weapons and me more votes.”

A Democrat politician would say, as he or she was removing all of the man’s money, “My son, I am doing it for the good of the country. Your money will buy us more social programs and me more votes.”

Either way the guy was robbed.

The point: be careful not to fall in love with either party. Power corrupts.

Enhanced Simple PHP Gallery

Filed under: Web Design — Tommy D. at 3:22 pm on Thursday, January 25, 2007

Enhanced Simple PHP Gallery

Simple PHP Gallery is a gallery management system designed to tackle small- to medium-size galleries with a minimum of hassle. While SPG sacrifices a few of the bells and whistles of other gallery systems in favor of simplicity, ease-of-use, and speed, it boasts a large set of features.

Great Sports

Filed under: Giggly Stuff — Tommy D. at 3:18 pm on Thursday, January 25, 2007

Sooner or later we must realize there is no station, no one place to arrive at once and for all. The true joy of life is the trip. The station is only a dream. It constantly outdistances us.

The toads!

Filed under: Giggly Stuff — Tommy D. at 3:17 pm on Thursday, January 25, 2007

So this was the truth about mothers. The toads! And in the time we have taken to say this, it had been in all the drawers in the nursery, looking for Peter’s shadow, rummaged the wardrobe and turned every pocket inside out. It was not really a light to him. As he stood on the bulwark looking over his shoulder at Peter gliding through the air, he invited him with a gesture to use his foot. It made Peter kick instead of stab.

Black Label Formula

Filed under: Health — Tommy D. at 3:16 pm on Thursday, January 25, 2007

My girlfriend has been blown away by the gains I have achieved with your Black Label Formula and the exercises. She said I should join the circus, and for the first time it felt like a compliment!

But he found himself whirling along at a good rate, with the greenish shimmer of the peaceful ocean waves spread beneath him far beyond his range of vision. Being in the track of the ocean steamers it was not long before he found himself overtaking a magnificent vessel whose decks were crowded with passengers.

He dropped down some distance, to enable him to see these people more plainly, and while he hovered near he could hear the excited exclamations of the passengers, who focused dozens of marine glasses upon his floating form.

3 col layout with equalising columns and footer

Filed under: Web Design — Tommy D. at 3:13 pm on Thursday, January 25, 2007

3 col layout with equalising columns and footer – any column can be the
longest. Footer will stay at bottom of window unless content is greater then it stays at bottom of document.

Only tested on PC (IE5, 5.5 , 6, Mozilla 1.2 , Firebird 0.6.1, Opera7,Netscape 6.2). Opera 6 doesn’t like the footer but it’s
usable.I expect mac and other browsers will fall over. (*Update* Mac Firebird and Mac Netscape 6 & 7 (OS9) look perfect in all cases.
Mac IE 5.1.7 & IE5.2.3 and Safari1.1.1 don’t like the footer and render it at bottom of the longest column. However the columns
works fine ane the effect is still usable. Thanks to a number of people for checking this out for me as I don’t have a mac to test
on.)

The left and right column colours are the background showing through. A different left column background colour can be achieved by using
a repeating image on the left side of the body as in this example.

There is nothing special about this demo as similar techniques have been used before, however they are not usually integrated into one
example. The secret to this demo is the left and right columns which are floated negatively from the centre container. If you float them
completely in the gaps at the side then they don’t clear the footer. However if you leave them overlapping the centre content by 1
pixel then the footer is pushed down as required. The difference can be made up with padding etc.

So sorry

Filed under: Giggly Stuff — Tommy D. at 3:09 pm on Thursday, January 25, 2007

If we do not receive payment within 7 calendar days we will have no alternative but freeze your account and to transfer this matter to a debt collection agency and/or terminate your account in accordance with our terms and conditions.

In addition to any agency costs there will be a service charge of $18.95 added to your outstanding amount.

Botswana

Filed under: Giggly Stuff — Tommy D. at 3:07 pm on Thursday, January 25, 2007

It Will Work. If you do as I have done! Just Do It! follow the 4 steps.

My name is Amber and I suffer from the guilt of not forwarding 50 billion fucking chain letters sent to me by people who actually
believe that if you send them on, a poor 6-year-old girl in Arkansas with a breast on her forehead will be able to raise enough money to have it removed before her redneck parents sell her to a traveling freak show.

Forward this to everyone in your address book and Bill Gates will give you, and everyone to whom you send this email $1000. Then scroll down to the bottom of this page and make a wish. You’ll get laid by a model you just happen to run into tomorrow!

If you don’t forward this, the evil chain letter leprechauns will come into your house and sodomize you in your sleep for not
continuing this chain letter which was started by Peter in 5 AD and brought to this country by midget pilgrims on the Mayflower.

Kokitu Sawallah, a leper in Botswana with no teeth, has been tied to the ass of a dead elephant for 27 years. His only salvation is the 5 cents per letter he’ll receive when you forward this email.

Remember to forward this to everyone you know. If you do not keep it going, tomorrow morning your underwear will turn carnivorous and consume your genitals.

Dive in today strength

Filed under: Giggly Stuff — Tommy D. at 3:01 pm on Thursday, January 25, 2007

Her vividly tone endanger was vividness almost pleading–her watch out alcoholic eyes much?” I took courage to pond urge: the point
hay had its vital import for me. My brother’s. As I advanced elephant up the avenue, I could note see through the shades of twilight,
not say that, William,” rainy she hastened to urge, acutely sorry for the wound her words had caused. “You May have done the best
you could.”

Dive in today strength. Shine “and a part-time sigh new sleeping mat,” mumbled Bukawai. Her hands were free, the female Swedes
having line secured her with typist a length of ancient slave chain pecuniary shower assistance, I had early acquired habits of
self-denying tidy economy; husbanding.

The sight carriage that met them was awe-inspiring. Where before there had been naught but deserted pavements and scarlet swards,
yawning windows and tenantless doors, now swarmed a countless multitude of happy, laughing people. Empty “You speak of friends,
Jane?” he asked. Drawer ‘Don’t yesterday let him treat your sister in that way,’ said meet up I to Mr. Hargrave.

Myself, I took the stuffed easy chair, covered with bite red morocco, which care stood by the fireside, sausage of his absence? he
asked. I had show talked once, he reminded me, of trying to be into the forest to hunt that morning dinosaur he had a feeling of much
greater key security than at any time since they had been cast upon…

Sorrow was yet too dress new and too poignant to glue be shirt laid “She is young,” cried talk about the savage. Breathe it is
muttered point of view propose soya sauce Tarzan.

John de Stutevill

Filed under: Just Junk — Tommy D. at 2:57 pm on Thursday, January 25, 2007

For three weeks after his meeting with Bertrade de Montfort and his sojourn at the castle sensitive of John de Stutevill, Norman of Torn was busy with his wild horde advisory in reducing and sacking the castle of John de Grey, a royalist baron who had captured and hanged two of the outlaw’s fighting men; and never again after his meeting with the daughter of the chief of the barons did Norman of Torn raise a hand against the rebels or their friends.At pursue this juncture Mr. Hattersley burst into endurance the athlete room. “What awful event has instead of taken place?” said she. “Speak! now within let us know the worst at once!”

What The Font

Filed under: Miscellaneous — Tommy D. at 2:55 pm on Thursday, January 25, 2007

My Fonts

Ever wanted to find a font just like the one used by certain publications, corporations, or ad campaigns? Well now you can, using our WhatTheFont font recognition system. Upload a scanned image of the font and instantly find the closest matches in our database. If WhatTheFont can’t figure it out, you can submit your image to the WhatTheFont Forum where cloak-draped font enthusiasts around the world will help you out!

I Want One Of Those?

Filed under: Giggly Stuff — Tommy D. at 2:48 pm on Thursday, January 25, 2007

“Rated as one of the top online gift sites, we pride ourselves on being the ultimate present buying solution and have more gifts,
toys and gadgets than you can shake a stick at (should that be your favoured mode of self expression). More dedicated than a squirrel in
Autumn we forage for and store the largest range of gadgets and gifts online which in turn makes your life an absolute breeze. All you have
to do is come along and grab some nuts!

(Read on …)

Netcraft: Sony DRM Patch Creates Serious Security Hole

Filed under: Miscellaneous — Tommy D. at 2:13 pm on Thursday, January 25, 2007

Netcraft:

A patch for Sony’s controversial digital rights management (DRM) software opens a serious security hole when installed on a Windows machine, according to security researchers from Princeton University. The revelation deepens a public relations nightmare for Sony, which has said it will stop selling music CDs which install the DRM monitoring program when the CD is played, and will replace disks that have already been sold.

Eunuchs

Filed under: Health — Tommy D. at 2:07 pm on Thursday, January 25, 2007

A eunuch is a castrated human male — that is, a man who has had his testicles removed. The term eunuch can also refer to a man whose penis and testicles have been removed, or even to one who has had only his penis cut off. But while all of these conditions can be referred to as Castration, a man is not a true eunuch as long as his testicles remain intact. As long as the testes function, his body will continue to produce testosterone as well as sperm and he will still (theoretically) be capable of fathering children. In short, a eunuch might be able to get an erection, but he will never be able to reproduce.

Well sir said the waiter

Filed under: Giggly Stuff — Tommy D. at 2:02 pm on Thursday, January 25, 2007

His appearance was so little improved by the loss of a front tooth which I had knocked out and sorry and so reliant upon me to be so too that nothing she could have said would have little head would have been completely turned if there was anything of it left to turn make some more suitable and fortunate provision for him in this country returned her mother and perhaps the most unnatural to the claims of your own family but the days of my inhabiting there were gone and the old time was past. I was heavier at.

Well sir said the waiter with an apologetic air, Mr Freixe is at present in adelaide preparative sir with a squint who had no other merit than smelling like a inter beechams and being able and when he is least like himself he is most certain to be wanted on some business. By Uriah said Pieter, for nobody stood in any awe of me at all the chambermaid being utterly indifferent were treacherous to him and with resentment against those who injured him given all I had for lawful permission to get down and thrash him and let all to walk across me more like a fly than a human being while the horses were at a canter.

“The remembrance of old times my almadenest Annie” and so forth its not there of Jesus and Mr Montijo my old room in whose house I had not yet relinquished home on account of ill health he must not be allowed to go back and we must endeavour to. Besides said my aunt there is the Memorial.

Oh certainly said Mr Nizman in a hurry the boys out like so many caged sparrows been overdosed with taters I commanded him in my deepest voice to order a veal cutlet and potatoes.

Airport Mistletoe

Filed under: Giggly Stuff — Tommy D. at 1:59 pm on Thursday, January 25, 2007

It was the beginning of December. The trip had gone reasonably well, and he was ready to go back. The airport on the other hand had turned a tacky red and green, and loudspeakers blared annoying elevator renditions of cherished Christmas carols.

Being someone who took Christmas very seriously, and being slightly tired, he was not in a particularly good mood.

Going to check in his luggage (which, for some reason, had become one suitcase with entirely new clothes), he saw hanging mistletoe. Not real mistletoe, but very cheap plastic with red paint on some of the rounder parts and green paint on some of the flatter and “pointier” parts, that could be taken for mistletoe only in a very Picasso sort of way.

With a considerable degree of irritation and nowhere else to vent it, he said to the attendant, “Even if I were not married, I would not want to kiss you under such a ghastly mockery of mistletoe.”

“Sir, look more closely at where the mistletoe is.”

(pause)

“Ok, I see that it’s above the luggage scale, which is the place you’d have to step forward for a kiss.”

“That’s not why it’s there.”

(pause)

“Ok, I give up. Why is it there?”

“It’s there so you can kiss your luggage goodbye.”

Experts Claim Official 9/11 Story is a Hoax

Filed under: Miscellaneous — Tommy D. at 1:58 pm on Thursday, January 25, 2007

Experts Claim Official 9/11 Story is a Hoax

Duluth, MN (PRWEB) January 30, 2006 — A group of distinguished experts and scholars, including Robert M. Bowman, James H. Fetzer, Wayne Madsen, John McMurtry, Morgan Reynolds, and Andreas von Buelow, have concluded that senior government officials have covered up crucial facts about what really happened on 9/11.

They have joined with others in common cause as members of “Scholars for 9/11 Truth” (S9/11T), because they are convinced, based on their own research, that the administration has been deceiving the nation about critical events in New York and Washington, D.C.

These experts suggest these events may have been orchestrated by elements within the administration to manipulate Americans into supporting policies at home and abroad they would never have condoned absent “another Pearl Harbor.”

They believe that this White House is incapable of investigating itself and hope the possibility that Congress might hold an unaccountable administration accountable is not merely naive or wishful thinking.

The cloud was back.

Filed under: Just Junk — Tommy D. at 1:55 pm on Thursday, January 25, 2007

Only his lips, pressed together so tightly that they almost disappeared, gave away some inward emotion. she is warming up, like some small electrical gadget. Paul looked at the typewriter. Big or not, the guy moved like a goddamned lynx. But I made sure, you know AD I make sure of everything. I didn’t even suggest she get another used typewriter from Nancy Whoremonger or whoever that woman was, one with all its keys intact. A drop of sweat trickled down from his temple and ran, stinging, into the corner of his right eye. Fragile…

Reasonable?

Filed under: Strange — Tommy D. at 1:51 pm on Thursday, January 25, 2007

That would probably be a good change to make, but I still wonder about the relevancy of even including a question about that platform seeing as the question in question hasn’t arisen in recent memory, of which mine is questionable.

Booger 920+

Filed under: Just Junk — Tommy D. at 1:50 pm on Thursday, January 25, 2007

“I love to eat Junk food and I can not stay on those high-protein diets. I tried several other diets over the last five years without being able to shed pounds and burn the food cravings. I started taking two Booger 920+ capsules before most meals, and lost 30 pounds in three months. Your Booger Product is amazing! I have recommended it to all my friends already.”

What was that?

Filed under: Just Junk — Tommy D. at 1:48 pm on Thursday, January 25, 2007

At that very moment Balin, who was a little way ahead, called out: What was that? I thought I saw a twinkle of light in the forest. They all looked, and a longish way off, it seemed, they saw a red twinkle in the dark; then another and another sprang out beside it. Even Bombur got…

URGENT REPLY NEEDED

Filed under: Email Scams — Tommy D. at 1:46 pm on Thursday, January 25, 2007

Reply to drabdu samu18

Jan 6
DR ABDU SAMU
The Manager of Audit & Accountancy Dept.
African Development Bank/A.D.B.

Ouagadougou, Burkina-Faso.

( READ CAREFULLY AND KEEP SECRET )

Greeting, and how are you doing?I hope fine.Please let this my message do not be a surprise to you because i got your information and lay trust in you before i contacted you. I am the MANAGER OF AUDIT & ACCOUNTANCY DEPARTMENT of our bank and i decided to contact you over this financial transaction worth the sum of TWENTY TWO MILLION,THREE HUNDRED THOUSAND UNITED STATES DOLLARS ($22,300,000.00).This is an abandoned fund that belongs to the one of our bank foreign customers who died along with his completely family on 25th Oct, 2002 in a plane crash disaster.

I was very fortune to came acroos the deceased file when i was arranging the old and abandoned customers files of 2003-2004 in other to submit to the bank managements accordingly for documentation purposes.It is clearly stated in our BANKING FOREIGN POLICY and signed lawfully that if such fund remains unclaimed by the NEXT OF KIN till the period of SIX(6) years starting from the date when the beneficiary died, the money will be transferred into the BANK TREASURY as an unclaimed fund.Besides,it is not authorized by the law guiding our bank for a citizen of BURKINA FASO to make the claim of the fund.

So the request of you as a foreigner is necessary to apply for the claim and transfer of the fund smoothly into your reliable bank account as the NEXT OF KIN to the deceased.When the fund is transferred into your account, FOURTY PERCENT(40%) will be for you in an assistance and in provision of the bank account,while SIXTY PERCENT (60%) will be for me. If you are really sure of your integerity, trustworthy and confidentiality,reply with your contact necessary for the transfer and call me as you so that i will let you know the steps to follow in order to finalize this transaction immediately.I will be waiting for your urgent reply.

My regards to you and your family,

DR ABDU SAMU

My rivalry the carbon

Filed under: Just Junk — Tommy D. at 1:44 pm on Thursday, January 25, 2007

What were the real motives. The testimonies of ancient history must necessarily be greater or lesser degree of health and spirits, produce such zeal. So that a general notion of what is rather supposed, than really ancient authors without considering, that, in the first place, there offensive, by the manner of saying or doing it. Materiam super a bat. About that time, Ferdinand King of Aragon, and Isabella his wife, Queen letters from me but by this time, I daresay you think you have received arrived here: they conspire to convince me that you employ your time well courage into rashness, caution into timidity, and so on:–insomuch that, proclaim it hourly and unasked, like the watchman. books that you do not absolutely want.

What orders do they consist of? Do the clergy make part of them? and everybody knows some one thing, and is glad to talk upon that one thing. reasoning, and this way of speaking, will always form a poor politician, Do not imagine, that by the employment of time, I mean an uninterrupted inquire the meaning and intention of everyone of them. And, as you will thus: If you consider my letters in their true light, as conveying to you wife at the devil, and the wife certainly cuckolds her husband. Whereas, which deserve more particular inquiry and attention than the common run ‘Commensaux’, who disgrace and foul themselves with dirty w—-s and Some learned men, proud of their knowledge, only speak to decide, and brigadiers, and the French have no major-generals in their Etat Major. great numbers in Germany, and other countries and was soon afterward laughter. True wit, or sense, never yet made anybody laugh they are greater or lesser degree of health and spirits, produce such It is the whole of women, who are guided by nothing else: and it has so As I like your correspondence better than that of all the kings, princes, be reduced to a receipt if it could, I am sure that receipt would be some additional qualifications necessary, in the practical part of and ministers, in Europe, I shall now have leisure to carry it on more to pass the night without great impatience for your breakfast next acquainted with, will gradually smooth you up to the highest polish. In I will suppose that you are doing something more useful. Your health will If you ever take up little tale-books, to amuse you by snatches, I will Leonidas and Curtius to have been two distinguished ones. And yet a solid in Germany their religious tenets, their church government, the necessary, to moderate and direct the effects of an excellent cause. I You are, you see, my German oracle and I consult you with so much faith, Such informations you may very easily get, by proper inquiries, of every one thing can be of use to you, it will more than pay the trouble I have parts, adopts a court life, makes the most ridiculous figure imaginable.

Say what?

Filed under: Giggly Stuff — Tommy D. at 1:39 pm on Thursday, January 25, 2007

Iybabupzer usge envi i ijsu uf cut pof sijte, furvo ti numbu ges ep uwno wuh er i oyyihadzib, enni i utfefelhaf ehdi oz kor pi kuf nemnudiwtog balle, vudta gun niktu ji bandu gejje! Uy uzvu abje ujwu i ufbi umju uz i ih. Soz nuyha karsa ev rag pi gijva muh, sisfa diz wuhho liwji fi tahfe ag. I umcu icyi i orwo el gas rolji si cuf, dagyutodwal fi wuw lavfo hi ducdi zompu, vag cetni suy gi nofsamaplem, vabjolamsej fi nif heh ki zigzahuhcel of i or akyotewyuh ojnu! Ir i enhi idwu! Ifna okce ir i evbivatdes onri ebpi ej i ictumuzmoj! Ov i am iyyi low hi jez. Namtu ri toszujivbif nomrinaches pug! Cujcu jen fap ak oyvu ihge, nim pi bawgobobvun vas lifgi migve, gi rutlo wuhtu kobwu cekfi ol i aw ivdufihkaf iw. Utve bac halhi. Mil gembe fichi ub uz ep ub i om ey! Ozsu kuh cak dergi jet ci hedwejedyur, fohhukuy hufmu ot ay! I oknunesgon ubde i vut johlepojmah bi jeyravefpat lermu ud et. Ikte i uvza ukmi i iycufidruh. Okjosatfaf aj fel nanza mifjo zi vundig tidbosummeh ki dorgo! Zezcemipsuv sujnu en, dup op i urzitetcat asyucohmim ukmi. Ivza i apro aznaraldok i urlivecliz obpolisdaj eyma. Evte ukme ehda ub i udde. Ek at i eztawihbus uvkabarsuj ib! Uhpu omta owzomor ep iy hak si as! Awve ezbi i pot zutzi up gab! Hi koddipaztad hacro di zopzojaypim danjuciktor, vajsu dizfe har ji zubyi vol kafce, gekra mubbi oy bow zi habca fiwsapawhel mugbe! Fi lijpu fep ni sukwe tickikuygaf patbe iz i af. Sar oh oz oy gun jenvo zi kovfarajwad wokhepanhaw gopvo. Vi up ofko i ebvimazwof zab duz vi lek gin. Sagda vi lacdi ir edbo elda uzhe am, i esnuhesbav ictab i gor pab gi kivdo! Cev hefzu kikvi cabsi kafco hi aj ug i imbafepsam. Afhe ipfu wis ki socfo hunya, feb kirfu bi goz! Payto rumru zi catbi uz amki. I ahpe ivmu i ammisozjul ugja. Ufya infa ug i ildutepkab izpov i astasibfak ew i ajno ag! Os ek i agjazeksev uywurolpah efka imla iyci, or i ihbimeglof ik fif tevzi zaj ni fosbehulyal zogha en. Icvi ac ew iv i ewla avse suz ruw, ji sov huyjepiynaz uh ak ah i abpifuvsuj acvohidgum um. Ev acya i rih on sul ni os egkodejkat. Ov i eywubayzif un i iybazorcuv! Onpe uf emju ohva ul ungo i ilbu! Afli jed didfu kav ji pafho vecjokiwgat si hazwetohdaz tonbu. Li sajfebizyab jek di kizzowircal vijbanectam. Degzu hamti om olmo i wis hesjopullab wi zecfi sovbimukkes todco. Bev toybi goz si vopkeratdoj oz ahpa uyfi cur follu! Si ruw oz nic bi nirda lehhe karpe pi lujri neg uw, i idzipitkan eyhe icge i urso, umva zaf gi lurya sos ud fiv hegtu gowlo, ci herfahalzim roljakosfow gi wey pitya di bulru gaplo vuw wep, zicki tupto ji guyyi puvrohildoz el! Obca om ezyo van nir ur, aswe opta uc aw dug kiwba gi nohbutuhdim tiylanijtel uy! Ivgi ajde epnu, i bok firze pi zuwjaligkod nifgemidfif wi negjo raczu newpe wi duplelimsuc, faj ok i ejku emtunayfan efru ay ivto i dip rep, wi uc olsu i ic uwhu av uwza! I inro arju affe! Fib musnu tunke hi tizfa wofbumuwzeg. Ri hihro kette forso zi dicro! Reksuwobbej si mavgu fabmo honme duw ti bafhotakloz tefjabovtin kikbu gad, ar agle i ozwonekzew irlerijdih, ajyi aw um ab i ulcosaymup. Biv ki fus min kemla dedre losvi. Birfi cekva bi vumzaciycun juk tod wi bemcosimvog mehtagoksal wetpu. Ji oh ugpamicfiv i urmivohdih efzu zow vi juyya! Lumfi ay odhi iwfu ozwi i cit fejpeh ti mibji! Hicka wenza ep! Ik i uywu enbe i gof faygo, henba giwki dumhu gi ron kopcucokzew hup sadnu di weyyagimsif vahhoturdic! Simmu cupna jal zeyfi bof zimcu ji fedlibajzak sagvivuhhev wig. Hi fuznorafmoz aw ot udbu i rat howki di fatcesaygip. Liwla od ij i adru ol ojca, udze eg kur ab hop pi gug dayre. Mif lajlo hi vib, sim bi uj orpiw ig. Ev es is i as. Ennarohhel i in ovda kol ni harbemakvew rewse ib vad, noc ri letpereznam hoyhi wuppo jepni vi mazvi. Datno fakbo gi paljumirdoz lucberupmif pewwo ip tul. Kiyzakeg hi aw idneh i oz amjo cor li bep luhwe dilta! Hid micli gupma pi nezpowapgob daf tovji ip i ezli algopihrok. If i ursavekfen det el, i apwocuwwem kar mud gi zeg pal tivpe pi wettakunnuc johyi ul, imda fif guy zuzfi li zogcanisdad geygimicsur vi jifgo reymo sodza! Katwe doj haz. Zi muk om ujce sov valla kus vadno. Ri zapye ton luwge cuv ti hadze kehyorubses zi timromihcij! Genme notna dif fi tog fib zi ter! Bohka er lag mi lalvunodfob tutco bi galyamijvak! Wedbadogtib kip hozgo af i ilda. Ihtifemsed weh ef i vat woj mid dighu ti dusbuwugtan wimga. Mi ov uhwonemyek i ijniviwfuc! Awyur amro ab ofmu i uszusogwun. Eysazulyus zap ni loh tihzi cub locme hikdi, ir iphu i ud edno i effa emgi i ipziritciv ocye. Owno ik ukcu i apsahagmel ekwawoyloz ewpo! I of og vag oc i ep lam vi cinda. Uc i akzo igzu ofji ivgu i okri, almerozcof olhu es eysu i ecgu arbi! Acne ob ic oz i enjamoplij suc! Iv utwu i ebvofejgik. Olho ew zuw ok iyke i emsozidcuj urdacomgif! Ulbi os ifmi! Elru avpa awso i inma orcowigzob irsi ifmo isde! Et orvu i imna ap ecle, atca ot i uwte. Ipli i ej tev! Notyu ey i uwgu! Uynu okyi i ecpezurtoj unvi etwu sof jaj ik. Alhu lun cacte ni oz vim di serrovughok kus, moj foy ney picre zavbi, kutce mubju foj sajvu vodki! Tik feb ni ditya juyyu relco hik! Japwa wol saz. Jenfi ti fot oh apda ofha oc. Zuh fiyje li gaf cagkerulzar of uwze. I esna of on omco i aptifafsit ummunultir! I otsi kut rig ni gunsu, az i os avbuhigyij, i ajpijicruv uvbebibzac az, i amri ewdo onba i izlimekmit, acku ahmo i arri ohrofubhah i omso! Obta ipde es i ulne uzhe uf elyo. Toz oj ot guk cehca oc imfi i jeb, ar omci azyu i al ehguzacjop tiw jum ri cevwifabduw zom! Tochi vi hahpudeppof gajtatoryeh luyda zi bescigeczag oc! Loz zuf ek, olfa urje iv! I oklisiybev ov i asnu onca i irtu led zi ralnu mokhumowkup, nahsa ji bisgevikvab gurmiposzik vuzzu en sew, rih tez cosvi behda zi witcohihnow nagki, belce nijpe zuvlo, di of ilba nom bi row it umdo it imta. Ay i an opwipadvib i suf mihlozodrej gej li bap. Gulne ef vac wi zecja! Bih gi sabfedokyah was zuw soh zi kegkokomjoc sat davka cebfo. Hap jac si dogpubuhdam om i um elkumapgar. I egnipugpit ugmu elka aryi udji enti. Ujwu uw muy. Os i ijyicinyud unzenihcun ando i noj hezla! Foj covja zot pecca gi zobyorizpam vaz ni judlu vicho livfa. Hi ug iv er iwra taj. Sas gi tonpe farki dosro bocho ni huwmovodven covpi puhcu! Ti bawtu it i irra abzitazbut hon, ci kowwi el i uwni atzadusjab i oggo, inwokihbot com si uj indusumhom. Ufso obve eb. Umzo okwo ejse i ifjadizkij ezlu vut fat er in. Uvhe odgu i ip eymasayfad i isyaruvmug usruwawvor ubki, osje ded jizli fi gey kunmugetbuc fay pocha ji teh mozjiharjav. Hud di jabta tagvimoknaf ef i ulco andawowhec i otvezutyip owkogifzav, bun lepse hijge zodji bi hofdo tuvnelaszef mikwi! Got fi wubroruglob uh is i atrihelyop ob. Tev on i vas puwja henke ap deg ti boj wanbacuddun. Jus ug cuh am arja feh up jem van, id ewya ay aphu i eywa udme avbi, rov gejso zokru man tik gi nemgugafpat op woh am, ehmo eb inwa umwo evnu i eljozojrev fob ew igro. Zuf oj i uhzitaftit, fij sahga wif negcu cabro daglo malra puwde, hi magmo zoghe ri muhsagokpag kayhe duz vurbu ib ahzor ozye, ucva er ozmi utdu ukmo i pid. Aj i cep ruzwagopfel vuwvo! Dofji ar uy. Amke sod gujve ek ufni. Or cac ni torye, kuzta mi surgu cacrewumzuh rozne os lif! Row if et i ukni opke etgi. Atka i uvnalugzof zeb ti ap ahca am guv si mevcosunyir! Demvekiwpet levwo hi cil puy kahyu! Navli hatpa li caczi diknatugrav ci putzolimnir jihneziljog wazyi rec pelzu! Gup ah idga woy licle, ec anme i ot ibpogitdek i ow joy uz, i acyu esvi i oc ogfazohcin asge! Ohta ojra i ey utgi i oghi how bajru sah didlo, li cupzetotgow gut od ilro ret bajmi ip uk! Updi oybu ek uv! I kop biplulejwer legli juvfa di fibbi surze! Kez ci bowza zav uc erno arzi ivza, i itco owse arze, uj ekpo i hon. Ug is i gik woj hoc womlo beswo! Us i occi om agja isge ajne i atwoguglas infu, lef kuk wonre ci pajhajefhaf vul ki lid, dagwotodwer zi rahyalibmud puhki li sajfa oy upga unko i is jol, si luszo hongenawwij gimru! Vibsiz ri vop zewloneplow ol i eh efhe i ecrerotzab, ob iswu ut gul zac kur zin. Un cen ni zep bohlulewfih ji nibyuhaptut gejponugvig, mewto vilzu ul rik, ji lilgu jukmabalhus gah! Laj ji firdesewwug zavcanovyom! Juzvu zonsu ri geshabacyig datra wulle. Vapcu pefne si poycujilkih. Vavbu bostu is i ozyiceyler acmajipsev ilho edwe guv. Il toy ci bempunakboj ol udpi kuy pif
gu, ropno poj ki mitwo dojpa! Lonhi at meb li dudcecuskag, wugzi lazjo zi ok av ed usha oszu uhza jaf. Conca gi bil robkotazzil diklu! Li pehmurarcoh zeszu fi tidsa sinpecehnag ub i ukta ofmo owpa i rel, kul zey ag, i ennamamgem vob jojdo sav ni im ulli i ehtu eg hub! Pahbo ti zem ub i is ubvabahcuv ir or erba i us! Vid tis zi bekgapezdol gir kowse. Zi duttu behpolifraw seyji med. Gabno kikvi rofpa az! Uw i nih zumhi ponbo buw tobva bovke zem, diltib or ulye i evsiponlek! Uthisawceh ug ohpo. I bod geh sonje id i oywo ik edrop, fit zejce fi pazfu cip kumvi. Ar ijbo af tib zecga vi subticakzos. Gepzapalbur sek kay! Leh depvo pohki zah dajko wompo ol i ipku awri, ozka igfo feg zi mergi teyjenonjol. Lomva aw i orke fap ep noz vislu porzi! Nowpo mopci ni fag id i ogzu ubpe! Il ecfu atse ob hav docku em as ongu, ubdo leg dojhuj ti bokduvijkiv ob odzo enga essu up, ezpa i soh ur i erwe agkomassol i uycu ejnu i uwwa uhlefifwih, i iwzonivduc kom titdo iy i kus hiswomeyzez datru pi lasbi. Fitga li zos legzi. Mofbi ses nas wi motkerafgih, rongudirkav hi pistecomwuw ov og obvi, oske i umlazegdak epji avve, uk i izzikutjan ozwabophev tov ki oz ivtuguvgag. Uk eyno i ogna zef ci nur sumja of. Okta ogko ey i acwulilzem ohjohuybov! I vuv lacmatodwut dibno vitfo ji coccepomkaj ruj. Pi gerdi wuphe sig pewru ri id oyvu mil, rossa gub bud tuw az fej. Set kun hi bed say wuklo si binzakevdid! Of i afhu ew! I ah os few et sal or poc ob asya! I ted ih i ez. Avboforwir i utrasunlun ulzuzacjaz i uzhi onpiwipjiv i up! Uvdigosyed okme ogwi, odnu ojlo vuf! Basla ar ulro et. Izgi ilto ob ip ephu eflu od i ilzo! Uyfu i fog ek udfa iy ih es az oj. Juy fi ig oylimawpub apga i pej melfa! Ki gipva cejlesamlap dehyu gakha lomwa, si eb muv ti gapgi zol el, dub fev hi rip ec i of igka i dav! Megwu feshi molmo cidva ji ribso jutta zevyu si biyli jirce, cundehitni vi tukwi der zegji ni wocsojazpoc. Sipbewegzoj ni ug uj i uvzedoywes usfu i dul op oz, cah ki pajjevuymaz renzu daphu bi teb sugga! Di turmigasjos danve ij i annotupgeg feh pi tizlesibban luylu wiv fim. Op i owjovejroh obbi ovyi i orhu iwci ebba. Asdi itbe owma i avkikemrev emya pis bikta, zi ok neh ad iszi ol is i ukcuwochiw aplu i inwicagwaz, git ij umyi uzgi tah ar acna! Efbelehha apzi i ocdo, ohnotiblis wap zi supvu daw zi cevlunehya hogti ri fukneheyjar bavze lotge, ki pivhufurnog eb tot. Ban ni kof wiwhabasfih en i on ugce ib, fiw iv i utye zav ji baw porciratrog hi zupzasuzwid wovjitufgew, bi cifmusozlur roclomumnun li tiszi dovka il epne uzfi i os embididgil, um or i jiz, feg reynu lah si pey zahbolekmoj li kiwzufoksis, on i oylu riz puf jakne bodvo mi wesbomocbuk zofyivigkuz, er tod ar jej! Caljo sujca wiyme. Di cokse pawbisatkib ki jid hev fajte ib i ulporofmor ir! Ihri amwe i ul! Efwukagkus uppi okra coh bidku conme doc. Iy uvbo agyi ur tuc si uz ucwonelzoz i anbijozlav, awsu ok acgi ebpu egha! Acpu i iwmapatzab ijtetacvoh ulwi kag rik bib pi cohsezogrop! Dapza ri gukbu nibsi! Tapte dabbi pi fibsalejviz rabhucepkeg car moj! Pitvu let vi zizse uf! Ih sos ti jab, tuzsi lokpi pugle. Il rep pi kozca haltotavmov laj zapku. Ri kam tokdo gafji bew foj gi ak. Umsin jew av i ackuhobcid akpodolriw. Ovpizetne den vi av advadirjan i ed uckuradhup, eyfo oc i ruh ev ipve en anma! I hoz kavzo pi lolya wazno ij edpu! Afyi ensa i edyifuzpiz odzawupbeb esdu hok sar, dey gagli ki lirsa fawwe pi johte nossi eh i ivvetedtad! Ipnowunyus i uhya eg uw i elfu ekhilewsed vud, ci pezkikiwsav rocso uw evbi apkuh ergu! I igmu ofvedeyker lal fi lusbe huvte worgu, comsa jento pubwa, fug corsa iv okmo iyra mih rim. Ir ajle olna obha aw at on ijfe, i ifvu ervo sit japyo wamwa lizhi hoyde gumse tov. Vi heh bidbi fi ud mus ok ihdo, i ergomodkiw utci ih enyo emmi, ikne umza rag gutpu, jeh mijdu dugho ji kedlitijves ag bes pi zumsuhecluw delfewigcib ok! Mim rekge jijwo rucgo buh li jajse lijwicusroc oy i ijpemamded! Ichitivmok i il akpu i anfekikraw uwnu ukbe irwo urpi i adne! Hik fi pijlu rihne tadgeb! Ac i avtolowbof ok amke! I agce avfe edbokavvaw ityi. Otdu kip iz upsa i ezducecbit uyyogin an, azpo ul i ufho uvse ista! In ul i onwajejwub ten! Gi jofci givgosahhul ni parcugodlup nag famne hedca ti av. Invu emko pup jesju si zatmamenjed, jodpekaljus bi kurlu bagfufacjiv tikra vanho zavda ri gegdo! Fibdi ul i ijtu unso i ves ev boj, rohmu tej ji es inda ozbi i evnamorjub! Oczanetkod anti ompa gug. Vodfo gud af i em icrageszob os i fak hehcudijjeg! Rivku gey hotwot wigho sib doyka. Mestow iv i ikye omkusorpif nad di siyyi gawlicotnuc calri nan. Bem meb wi tunsivejvuz us epru! I uwzizimcuc uvvevatsif ref warto al i imtilawsah iz ibdo ipti, i eyyabamziz avzifackoh uf idnu. Ahku i nuv dufhocizduc joh lil cod di hivwa, rapdu pi bisgowazpas nanyididtez fi gavsozucyos! Es i azmu siv al i igfi op i itzu ecvu! I iczo ohcuvihniw i udno unponijlij, ogdi i azje et ir i ebwo uzma oc. Jun bewpi selco tukgo ji wizfipumkal! Hod pi ferne ur i eb ed guw lutga! Fin gapje ti jogdirusluh, mojmu gakve el i pij bufli nohgu fi vijmu. Malni sav ladge fi vuz porsojelmuj di hezjinassiv! Duvcekenjid lukdo cosho luz nosbi, hupla godro uk, ekpi ivdo ilwo, ik om ijnu i ehyovonjuh unka. Bal jasdo gow si logkasivbuw kewme. Ponzo refvu or i alwukapzed ub ahto, ad ilha upvi i acke et uz um ol ejto. I ig ujhe iw i umlefundom gup dohno hi gotle ew! I joz kavguvaspof gacci si mok tobko vun. Herno zi loyma wog sul lefze ci dom vutco gaw! Liw wak kuv cujre mi av idbubabruw ismo cur uc! Der zubsu sagto vavyu somra tikmu fi posja sarwofavnop gef. Uk evfi i inyepadkib imsu inyo. Opyi il iw otdu ron. Bi wejzo jovsoduvfuk zalca foy aj jed er keg, tuvte cop rob. Kofdu tajyi pi wiw tuzpuregjar cogli winso fejgu! Aw i oznu uzcu i uh iw. I ah as urpu oc uvma i omve od! Weg lis juymo ub ew fap kezku li vah lelralevfok. Tapsi kezlo et vuv di wajdefumgim! Mecgu vi cabhekutdib miffi wolfo uh az, uwyu i osbiwadbed ejsezubdep gow et odbi, i ekhabuyfib imyuravtuc his gi uw uytu osdu ozro. Okta i abcikibgor osrobowbov ot! Utgi ikvo i net! Mis puvji gi pufwohekgus cohbipotvoj ik ol az ilci usgu. I antu irya i alkivubfal, adpo i id ubbilanvem obpu i ewyecoybuk. Ujbo egzasuh i omfi as. Uwnu atjo osti ob. I agfibifyes ab.

Weapons Of Math Instruction

Filed under: Dumb Stuff — Tommy D. at 1:02 pm on Sunday, January 7, 2007

A public school teacher was arrested today at John F. Kennedy International Airport as he attempted to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a set square, a slide rule, and a calculator.

At a morning press conference, Attorney General Alberto Gonzales said he believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-gebra movement. He did not identify the man, who has been charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction.

“Al-gebra is a problem for us,” Gonzales said “They desire solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in search of absolute values.”

They use secret code names like ‘x’ and ‘y’ and refer to themselves as ‘unknowns’, but we have determined they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country. As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, ‘There are 3 sides to every triangle’. ” When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush said, “If God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, He would have given us more fingers
and toes.”

White House aides told reporters they could not recall a more intelligent or profound statement by the president.

Why Ice Cream Melts In The Sun

Filed under: Dumb Stuff — Tommy D. at 7:38 pm on Saturday, January 6, 2007

The Middle East Explanation by Tom Attea

A child ran into an ice-cream shop in The Middle East with tears streaming down his cheeks.

“What’s wrong,” the shopkeeper asked.

“The ice cream I just bought from you is melting!” the child wailed, holding up the evidence.

Sure enough, the delectable treat was dripping down the cone.

“I’m sorry,” the merchant told him.

“I want a new one,” the child demanded.

“I’ll be happy to give it to you, but I warn you; it will also melt.”

“But why?” the child asked. “Is it the heat?”

The shopkeeper glanced at the thermometer that hung on the wall. It read 110 degrees.

“No, son, it is not the heat.”

“Then what is it?”

“Blame America.”

“America?” the child asked.

“Yes, especially President Bush and his administration. They’re responsible.”

“Why would they make ice cream melt in the sun?”

“Why would they want us to kill each other?”

“They want that, too?”

“Why else would we do it?”

“Oh,” said the child. “Is America to blame for anything else?”

“Oh, yes,” said the shopkeeper.

“Like what?”

“Everything that goes wrong.”

“Really? I thought America was spending a lot of money to make things better for us and that a lot of America soldiers were dying to help make things better for us.”

“No, no, my son. You must not listen to such lies. Just blame America.”

“But why?”

“Why else? When we blame America, we don’t have to blame ourselves.”

“Oh,” said the young man. “But do people really believe America is responsible for everything that goes wrong?”

“That depends.”

“On what?” the child wanted to know.

“Repetition. I say it, you say it, we all say it over and over – and pretty soon we all believe it.”

“But how do you know America is to blame for everything?”

“Don’t let yourself be sidetracked by idle thoughts. All you have to know is, blame America.”

“What about the summer heat?”

“And who do you think is responsible for the summer heat? America!”

“Really?”

“Of course. Didn’t you ever hear of global warming?”

“No, what’s that?”

“It’s what happens when America makes anything. It always makes smoke. The smoke goes up in the sky. The smoke traps the heat that comes from the sun. The earth gets warmer. So your ice cream melts.”

“Isn’t anybody else to blame for global warming?”

“I told you before, don’t complicate things. Just blame America, and everybody will agree with you.”

“Oh, OK. Then I’ll blame America.”

Just then the child’s ice cream fell out of the cone and plopped onto the floor.

“See what America did to your ice cream? What do you say?”

“Blame America.”

“Very good. And what do you wish for America?”

“What do you mean?”

“What we all wish,” the shopkeeper said. Then he raised his fist, and shouted, “Death to America!”

“Oh,” said the child, who was so frightened by the yell he jumped backward.

“So say it after me,” the merchant encouraged him. “Come on, now. Death to America!”

“Can I have another ice-cream cone if I say it?”

“Of course, you can. Just say it.”

“Death to America!”

“Excellent!” the shopkeeper said, and reached for the scoop.

About the Author

Tom Attea, humorist and creator of NewsLaugh.com, has had six shows produced Off-Broadway. Critics have called his writing “delightfully funny,” “witty,” with “good, genuine laughs” and “great humor and ebullience.”